Row Row Row Your Boat

The recent string of PhD comics (http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php) about being deported from London Heathrow reminds me of a similar thing that happened to a friend a long time ago. Perhaps you know the story. The memory made me smile.

Where would I be if someone important in my life just disappeared this senselessly? Me, who spent most of the last 48 hours madly working on an exam, shut in from the world, stopping mostly to eat, sleep, and have brief conversations with a select few people. It's an impossible balance to walk I think, the "live as if there is no tomorrow" and the sacrifices we make in search of a greater good, a better future. And if anyone understands those sacrifices and those moments and hours spent not with loved ones but with essays and equations and late nights in the library, its students headed into exams.

Oddly enough though, today hasn't left me asking myself "what would I wish I'd done if I were to suddenly die?" but rather, "what would I wish I had done if I lost someone that close?". Among the victims of this tragedy are the survivors, the mothers and boyfriends and roommates who maybe didn't say something nice thismorning, who have to live with their last words to a person very dear to them being "will you shut off your f***ing alarm clock".

I have no way of knowing and no evidence of this, but I like to believe that the people who didn't go home from school today at Virginia Tech are in a place where they know they are loved and missed. Maybe even a place where you can go to school knowing you will make it through the day.


I would wish I had given them a hug.

Its almost like arranged marriage - its not so bad if you are expecting it your whole life, but if someone springs it on you when you are a teenager it takes a lot to absorb it. Karen said that Dan wasn't expecting to have to go through everything first, that he had an older brother to make the mistakes so he could learn from them. But then one day he didnt and he's doing it alone. I guess I never thought about the challenges of being the first sibling to do things - but I've been the oldest for almost 23 years now so I have a lot more precedent for "normal". How do you teach someone to experience something that has just been part of your consciousness since you HAD consciousness?
....
...
Found :)

In happy news, Jason is in Alexandria and alive and well. Such an amazing adventure - not just Africa but the whole Journey that led to it. I really know some amazing people...

The conference this weekend was in itself interesting, but moreso was the time i spent with individual people. It really struck me the distinction between people you have conversations with and people you really connect with. I felt like there were two people I connected with in a way that has potential to last.

So when I say intellectual soulmates for an instant its the feeling that someone youve just met is really in the same place in their life as you and is really experiencing the changes in a way that you understand each other. Which isnt as common as you might think. The challenges of living and working in a foreign country are something that is common among the students I met over the weekend, but the experience of aloneness is unique. It has a lot to do with what you have left behind, what you are returning to, and the question of whether what you go back to can be the same. For me there is a basis in the fact that this so neatly separates a transition between cities, between seeing people every day and never seeing them again, and trying to create relationships out of that. I am leaving. One person I met is being left behind. and there is some sort of understanding that I really can't define.

So this one makes me happy. or at least amused. if there is anything wrong with your head, be it nerve damage, sinus cold, need a dentist, need a psychologist, ears are too big, skin cancer on your face, cant see, need a haircut (ok not the haircut) you go to somewhere called a Kopfklinik. Literally, Head Clinic. So what if you have something wrong with your throat? does that count? yet to be determined.

The good news is i got floss threaders. its amazing the things you dont realize were always around until you run out.

This weekend is the Heidelberg RISE conference, going to stay in the hostel in my current home town for 2 nights. Weird...

Joel sent me a text last night that he was waiting for a Mozart slash Strauss concert. In Vienna. I want to go to vienna now! :)

Heehee, so Joel and I checking into the hostel in Munich (which was the least nice hostel ive been in but still pretty good) and we will out our info cards, name, birthdate, etc etc. I'm doing all the talking asking about assorted hostel details and because we are talking in german joel is sitting there in a bit of a daze. At one point joel asks if we are making fun of him and I promise that no, we arent. So then we give our info cards to the reception guy who is probably about 22 or 23, and he looks at them and then asks (still in german) if joel is joking about his birthdate. Basically he doesnt believe that joel could possibly be older than me ('ok Joel, now we ARE making fun of you'). I thought this was hilarious.

Munich was great, the main strip after germany won bronze was insane, like the red mile for you calgary folk only bigger and with teh realization that every city in the country has the same thing.

Dachau was an incredible experience and raised a lot of difficult questions. The Deutches museum was pretty good, some cool airplanes but a disappointing chemistry section. good pharmacy section though. The Olyympic park was also pretty cool, as was the english garden.

but the highlight of the trip is still that joel is younger than me :P

Time to rant. Ive been here over a month working and I still havent been paid. Which pisses me off and makes me bitter and makes everything more complicated and expensive since i still have to use my canadian account.

Ive learned that German efficiency means that nothing is ever f***ing open. I have been trying to pay my rent since last thursday but I have to deposit cash in someones account because I cant do a money transfer from a canadian account (see above) but they dont open til 9, close for 2 hours at lunch, and then are closed at 4. so how does a normal german person ever go to the bank if they have to, say, work? The banks are also closed all weekend. Along with everything else closed sunday. Which is fun when you need a pharmacy in an emergency.

So the conclusion is, the only place where anyone works more than 5 hours per day is my lab. So the real question is, why am I so dumb as to work longer hours than anyone else in this entire country when I dont even seem to be getting paid?

So I've now been inducted into the group of chemists who have dropped a product into the rotovap. For those of you who know what that means, you will also understand the additional sigh because that product had just come off a column and it was the flatest product line I've ever made in a column.

For those of you who understood none of the previous paragraph, suffice to say that its and important rite of passage where you make really nice chemicals and then drop them in dirty water. You then get to breathe lots of volatile chemically things to recover your nice chemicals because they are so much more valuable than you or your time. I thought the most likely place to get high in Europe was Amsterdam. (Went there this weekend, more on that in a later entry)

The plus side is that when it happens to younger students in the future you get to shake your head knowingly at them :P

Wheee....

Bingen was amazing. A lot of great jazz, a guy with a washboard chestplate that needs to be given to the next reincarnation of sir robins minstrel, some heavy frank zappa stuff, some acappella with all the good things (ie harmony) about boy bands without all the bad things (like everything else) including a countertenor and whatever the thing below the lowest name for a musical thing you can think of is. highlight of the weekend though was definitely a performance of louis armstrongs what a wonderful world, complete with really good gravel and a german accent :) Joel has it recorded when he puts it on line ill post the link.

Back to work now for 4 days before heading to Amsterdam. Saw michelle last night which was great - you dont realize when you are travelling how much you really do miss people from home.

Joel did my laundry today and even got up early so he could get it done. He is wonderful. (I havent seen the colour of my clothes yet, but the damage to my white things has already been done by me!)

(*Warning – some of this stuff will be out of chronological order since I didn’t update during any of Wurzburg, Luxembourg, Marseilles, most of pre-work Heidelberg, Prague, Karlsruhe*)

The first weekend here I was on the train to Wurzburg to see Matt, Adam, and Mark, and really excited to get to speak in English again. I was pretty happy with how much I’d managed in German (although it did result in me missing my transfer on the way to Heidelberg and all kinds of other fun stuff) but its mentally exhausting to think and talk in a foreign language all day, and I was ready for some good solid English. And a hug. (As a note, I still find the German exhausting though it is getting easier, and I read English books like a Dune Fremen drinks available water because they let my brain rest).

So I was sitting waiting for my connection and thinking about this, and how I only had about an hour and a half more to wait. Then a girl on the platform tried to ask me something, and as I tried to tell her I was a traveler and didn’t know (my general response when I also don’t understand :P), I realized she was deaf.

It turns out we crowded onto the same train, which like a lot of trains I’ve been on was overcrowded and so we sat on our packs in the doorway and said “Entschuldigung” to everyone who got on or off. As it turns out Bahia (we spelled our names for each other in 2 handed letters since I don’t know sign language other than i,j, u, v, and x) is Greek by birth but lives in Germany now, and has been traveling around the entire country for several months. She was stopping in at one of the little places along the way to see her boyfriend. For both of us it was stories in maps and passports (with some good laughs at the pictures), old train tickets, and menus from good restaurants we’d tried the cheapest item at.

The amazing thing – this was the best conversation I’d had since I got to Germany and I’d met a decent number of travelers who spoke English. When my new friend got off the train I stood in the door and waved to her and her boyfriend because I’d never waved at anyone out a train window before and she said I should try it.

On Sunday Joel was too sick to go to Mainz, so I left him home to sleep it off and I went for a bike ride. It was going to be 10km each way, but then I didn’t feel like turning around. So I ended up doing a 50 km bike trip. Now I know for those of you who bike seriously that’s sort of a warm-up lap, and it wasn’t tough terrain, but for me that’s pretty good and I’m quite happy with it. It was fun, very very hot, and the only thing I burnt was my wrists. Today (Monday) my legs were fairly sore, though more tired, riding my bike to work, but more significantly my butt hurt a lot sitting on the seat because its got me all bruised.

After work I carried home 4L of milk, 3L of orange juice, 1.5L of iced tea and a few cans in my backpack and rode my bike, and I didn’t fall off once. The extra weight and the butt bruises didn’t go so well together though.

So apparently God likes soccer. We were handed flyers the other day telling us all about how man is sinful and “You Can be a Winner” if you follow God and all that good stuff. And it has a very nice soccer schedule on the back. Which is why its still on the kitchen table. As Joel said, they really were quite successful – they managed to get someone as anti religion as him and as anti religious recruiting as me to keep it. And read it.

Its in four or five languages, and the prayer in German opens “Lieber Herr Jesus”.

So sick of being sick. Its been almost 2 weeks now (counting that this started the friday we left for Prague.) I´m not so bad, just stuffed which sucks in the hot weather.

Joel on the other hand is in rough shape. I feel so helpless that i can´t really do anything to reduce his fever or keep him from feeling dizzy every time he moves. I can´t tell if we´re allergic to europe or if its allergic to us.

Anja is wonderful and found out from her boyfriend what the equivalents of Nyquil and Dayquil are, so even if they dont cure me maybe tomorrow I will feel human!

Long weekend, but with all the sickness not a lot planned. Amsterdam in 2 weeks though! Staying in a b and b should be awesome. Big thanks to Adam for organizing that trip :)

So its time I say a few words about my bike. While it is no Nancy Clancey, its still 35€ worth of kick-ass.

The light is broken, which i think is illegal here but I´m going to plead ignorance if it ever comes up. It has no suspension and an unconfortable seat and so i have sexy butt bruises, i think they are starting to go away though...

Its a little bit to big for me which means that every time i stop I have to dismount. I tried central dismounting and it ended badly with me sprawled across my bike on the pavement. Thankfully since i was mostly stopped i was only minorly injured and looked like an idiot, which is fun in a foreign city.

And finally, it gets me to work in (today´s record) 13 minutes and 47 seconds, which is half the time the bus takes and doesnt involve panicking not to miss the bus :)


A further note on the commuters here - the number of bicycles is insane. Its not uncommon for me to cross an intersection and there to be 15-20 bicycles waiting for the light to change. We have lots of bike lanes, cars and pedestrians are NICE to bikes instead of ignoring them or trying to kill them. For whatever reason the bicycle commuter is a big enough demographic to get some respect. Its awesome :)

Living alone is weird, but I still feel like a kid at Christmas because my room is full of new things :) I have a bed and sheets and dishes, lots from ikea and then more from the galleria kaufhaus and woolworths (which my mom will be very happy to know is still open here). And the best part is i spent less than 200 euro on all of this!

When i run a column my product (the part that i want) looks like blood dripping out. its kinda creepy.

I have a bed! its a bed couch only 79€ which is awesome. and a bunch of other awesome ikea. i love ikea.

Prague was pretty good, although not the wow I was expecting. Czech is a much poorer country and between WWII and communism and denoucning of everything at one time or another most of the interesting things (like the massive statue of stalin that took years to build) have been destroyed. Its a place with interesting history. And the hostel was awesome. If only i hadnt been sick for most of the trip.... Maybe I´ll go back if research reveals that i missed something big. Likely not this summer though.

Joel comes in 2 days! This makes me happy its been almost a month which is definitely too long.

alright back to lab work. ill have photos soon when i get my internet at home going or find a way to hook up my laptop at work here.

So Matt says to me 'were going to Prague this weekend. wanna come?' So i think to myself, im finally moving into my place after having lived in hostels and slept on trains for 13 days and now i have somewhere permanent.

So I'm going to Prague for the long weekend. Because really how often do you get to go to Prague on a whim?

In further news, LINDSAY GOT INTO MED SCHOOL!!!!!! On a competely selfish note this means I get to live with her again which makes me very very happy.

Found a room! Setup for its more or less perfect, its really small but I like it. Moving in Friday.

Joel isn't going to Scotland, which is a big bummer. There's some comfort that at least he is still going to come see me in Germany!

Hanna and Chantal (2 girls i travelled with in marseilles, super fun!) and I got bracelets at a street vendor (Hil, the same as the ones Fede brought us with the wrapped multicolour string) and the one I got is representing life, so I guess I didnt quite know what i'd bargained for but its been one of the oddest weeks of my life. But i met a lot of very nice very helpful people along the way and realized even more how much i do miss people at home.

Saw the Heidelberg castle today with Annie from the hostel and Quebec. Pretty neat, gardens are boring compared to those at the Residenz in Wurzburg but still nice.

Happy Birthday to Linsday yesterday!

So theres been a lot happen since i got to germany and one of these days i will write an epic in the style of James for you all to...enjoy... (sorry James had to say it, though your blogs were always interesting if sometimes too detailed!)

Luxembourg, marseilles, lots of night trains, the darkest tan since grade 9 in california (and im still whiter than everything except doug's stomach when he takes his shirt off for us. And now im back in Heidelberg and desparately trying to find a house because apparently leaving my stuff behind in a room didnt constitute moving into it and so it was rented to someone else while i unknowingly kayaked in marseilles. I have yet another meeting with a potential renter at 9pm tonight (in 45 minutes) so wish me better luck than with the last 30 phonecalls and last 5 or 6 meetings in person!

And just to make things more exciting, for those of you not following the life of Joel, he got deported because the university he is trying to go work for and british customs are both stupid. So all things considered i guess im lucky to still be in europe, although my motto today has been 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming' because any time i stop for a minute i really just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Its a beautiful city though, and if i ever get a room everyone is invited. if someone is talking to jade mention im in heidelberg because i think at some point she is going through europe and its a free home!

Ok enough of my ranting, Europe is beautiful but stressful, german and french are great but also stressful, and you are all not nearly as beautiful but very much less stressful and i would love to hear what is happening in Canada these days.

Its strange to leave here and realize its going to be such a long time. Watched Pride and Prejudice (GOOD movie btw) with Graham tonight and when I was taking off he asked when he'd see me again, and I realized that I have no idea. I don't know when I'll be back in Vancouver, who will still be here, and what of all the things that have happened in four years in this beautiful city will still be important. But I'm leaving without letting go of it, and I'll be back again :)